# 32 Three weeks to go....

I apologize for the delay again. Moving took a lot of work, and then getting my computer set up to work was a small feat on it's own. But here we are! 

On June 6th, 2003 I moved the boys and I down to South Jordan. I was working in South Jordan and it was just a lot easier to be working closer to home.

The next journal entry is June 21, 2003 (3 weeks before crime day)

Saturday

This is Craig’s weekend to have the boys, but he said he was going to Las Vegas and therefor couldn’t take them this weekend.

At about 11am he called Rocco and said he was out shopping. So I called him back to ask if he was in fact going to Vegas and he said no, plans had changed. (I found it interesting that he hadn’t then asked to take the boys, since his Vegas plans cancelled.)

Note: I know realize that Craig and Tamara were just scrambling with their plans.

So I told Craig that I wasn’t “switching” weekends with him because I had already made plans for Richie's birthday party next weekend. He got mad at me but still didn’t ask to take the boys. He said he wants to switch weekends. (even though he is in town). I said no, I had already arranged to have Wil and Doug next weekend and invited my family over for Richies party so I couldn’t switch. He gave me no notice that he was going to Vegas, I can’t just play this game with him. I told him if he had a legitimate reason to switch weekends permanently he could get his attorney to contact mine. I am not caving into his unreasonable demands anymore. He was furious!

But he still didn’t take the kids, or go to Vegas.

Friday 06/27/03 Richie’s 7th Birthday

The kids spent Tuesday and Wednesday night at Craig's. When they came home yesterday Richie said that Craig was going to bring him his birthday present today. I didn’t know what time to expect him so I called him (last night) and asked what time he was planning on coming over because I was making plans for Richies birthday and wanted to make sure we were home when he came by. Rich was excited to get his birthday present. Craig couldn’t give me a time. He said he had no idea. I asked if he knew whether it would be morning, afternoon or night? No idea. Frustrating. Today at 12:30pm he called and said he was on his way to get them. So I went home from work. Richie said he didn’t want to go with Craig, and since it’s his birthday he felt he should get to choose. So when Craig arrived the boys told him they didn’t want to go anywhere, they wanted to stay home. Richie asked for his birthday present, and Craig said he can get it when he wants to go home with him, and then he left. Richie was upset, and didn’t understand. Neither do I. Who does that to a child??

I went back to work (I worked 5 minutes from where we lived). When I got back to work I had a bad feeling about leaving them so I left work and went back home and told the boys we could go swimming. We lived in an apartment complex that had a big pool.

We had been at the pool for about 10 minutes when Craig walked in the gate! He didn’t have a key so he just followed someone in. I could tell he was angry so I ignored him. He sat on the chair next to me and started blaming me for the destruction of our family. I told him I didn’t want to fight. Over and over I asked him to stop because I didn’t want to fight at the pool in front of everyone. He carried on. So I moved to a different chair. He followed me, still fighting with me. After 30 minutes I told him he was harassing me and needed to leave. I told him he is not a tenant and I didn’t invite him in so he has to go. He just kept fighting. I told him if he didn’t leave I would have to call security. He ignored that and carried on fighting. So I got up and went to the office. He took off his shoes and shirt and dived into the pool with his dress pants on. I asked the front office people if they have security and told them what happened. They had a copy of the Protective order so they called the South Jordan police. When the police arrived Craig was playing in the pool with the boys, still with his dress pants on. They got him out of the pool, gave him a trespassing ticket and told him to leave and to stay away.

After Craig left, the police told me that Craig is very angry and that I must not take his phone calls. They said to let him leave a bad message and they will go pick him up.

This evening Rocco told me that he wanted me to come and get him from Craig’s house last week, so Craig confiscated his cell phone, his pokemon cards (which were everything to Rocco) and his toys, and told him he would not get them back if he tried to call me. That horrified me.

Later that night I was sitting in the hot tub with some friends I had made in the complex and the one guy said that his kids told him about a guy that got arrested at the pool earlier that day. He was surprised to hear it was my husband.

07/05/2019 I have A LOT of tape recordings from June and July, which I will be putting on my You Tube channel soon!!

That’s it for today. The next post is THE DAY and following week after Craig killed Michael Boudrero.

Love always, thank you for following. Please like, share and subscribe.

Keep love in your heart, be safe and live like it’s your last day!

Eve

# 31 Rich HAS to learn to ski!

This week I have been reading a book written by Anita Moorjani, titled Dying to be Me. It’s about a near death experience she had after 4 years of battling cancer and then falling into a coma. She describes what happened to her and it’s hard for me to put this book down because the describes the experience so beautifully. I know there are many NDE books out there and apparently they all have a very similar experience. What got to me is that she described the love and feeling of non judgment she felt. And how we are all ONE in the afterlife. We are all strings in a tapestry and are all part of one feeling. She talked a lot about how it was all “feelings” and thoughts and love.

The reason I brought this up, is after reading her book I feel that we need to be a lot less critical of ourselves and others around us. The more anger, hatred and condemnation you feel, the bigger your chance of causing yourself to get sick. I also feel forgiveness is very important. Which brings me to my story. Have I forgiven Craig yet? Some days yes, others no. If I wasn’t listening to our recorded fights and reading his emails, I may have forgotten a lot of what happened. But you can only forget to a certain level. A trauma, pain, hurt like that can bury itself in your subconscious and just because you don’t think about it everyday doesn’t mean it’s gone. What will happen, just like a physical injury, something will trigger it one day and it will all come back and feel 10 times worse. I know I need to dig deeper and get all of that out of me. I have met some really nice men who have taken me out once or twice and want to get to know me, but as soon as I feel them getting too close, I push them away until they’re gone. Do I want to spend the rest of my life alone? Absolutely not! I am hoping that by writing this out, listening to the arguments etc I am cracking the shell it has been hiding under. Like scar tissue, but harder.

This week I listened to one tape where Craig and I were talking quietly together and we are discussing our feelings etc. It was a nice conversation.  Then the next day he calls me up and he is raging at me, yelling and emotional. I asked him what happened between last night when we were having a good conversation, and today? His reply was “a thought”. So he thought of something and it would switch his mood instantly.

So a few times this week I have wanted to write to Craig, and talk about what happened. My life coach says it’s ok to write it, but then burn it. She doesn’t think it’s good to give him the pleasure of knowing that it is still affecting me.

I have about 15 tapes and I have been listening to them, posted a couple up on Patreon, but I have noticed a pattern with the conversations. They are the same thing, over and over again. He keeps saying the same things and I keep saying the same things. It’s unbelievable. The good news is Wil has shown me how I can transfer these tapes into mp3 format myself, AND he gave me the program that allows me to cut and splice out the bits that I don’t want in there. This way I can keep names of people out, and I can also cut out the monotony of some of the fights. I will be working on getting another recording up for our $10 and higher supporters this week, thank you!

Back to June 2003

Thursday 06/19/03 Journal notes

Last night Richie spent the night at Craig’s, but tonight he called me and asked me to come and get him because he didn’t want to go boating with them tomorrow.

Side Note: From the time Rich was very little, he was very scared of being in the boat. He would huddle down by my feet under the dashboard. When we stopped, he would come out and enjoy being on the lake, but the speed of the boat scared him. When we stopped, the older 3 boys would jump overboard and swim and play and I think I mentioned this in an earlier post, but Craig would drive the boat in circles around them, creating waves, and they loved it. Except for Rich. He never wanted to do that, but he was still quite young. Like 4 and 5 years old. One day Craig told him he had to get in and Rich said he didn’t want to and so Craig grabbed the back of Richies life jacket and threw him into the lake, screaming. I will never forget that day. I was crying too so Craig got mad at me as well. So boating was not one of Richard's favorite things to do. And to this day, Rich is not fond of being in water, where my other boys love it. I truly believe we mold our children when they are young, so we need to be very careful about how we speak to them and treat them. We are their protectors, they need to be able to trust the people who brought them into this world.

Back to my journal…

So when Richie called me and asked me to pick him up, Craig said no. He said Rich is only scared because Craig told him he was going to learn to ski.  Richie was crying, begging me to pick him up in the morning, but Craig was angry now at both of us and said no, he had to go and learn to ski. While I was talking to Richie, the phone cut out. When I called him back (this was around midnight) Craig answered. I asked him to let me speak to Richie, but he wouldn’t let me. He just wanted to fight. I told him I don’t want to fight, I just wanted to say goodnight to Rich. I felt sick that he was going to go to bed, crying and scared about the next day. For 45 minutes Craig fought with me on the phone and would not let me speak to Rich. Sometimes he swore at me so I hung up on him. He would call me right back. I was hoping it was Rich, so I would answer. It was just Craig fighting with me and telling me Richard has to learn how to ski. Eventually at 1:30am I hung up on Craig and turned my phone off. I needed some sleep and I knew Craig was not going to allow me to talk to Richard that night.

Friday 06/20/03

I picked Richie up in the evening after they got back from boating. He told me Craig did not make him ski. Then Craig called me and demanded an apology from me. I asked for what? He said because I assumed he would abuse Richie. I reminded him that the reason we fought all night was because he INSISTED that Richie learn to ski, no matter what. So then Craig changed his mind and now I must apologize?? Another big fight. He is so illogical it infuriates me!

I do have the above conversation on tape.

Later on I found out that Craig had also taken Tamara and her kids boating that day. He took them boating often. Which is one of the reasons the detectives had to search my boat once Craig and Tamara were both arrested.

Well that does it for today. Thank you again for following my story. Take care and tell your loved ones that you love them.

Eve

# 30 Neglected Children

On April 28, 2003 Craig told me that the FBI had contacted the owner of our house about the mortgage. This is the Kaysville house. Craig and the owner (whose name I won’t mention) had worked out a deal for us to “rent to own” I thought...but it seems everything Craig did was always a little on the illegal side. I don’t know what happened with that, but I have found some paperwork showing Title transfers, deeds etc….I don’t even want to try figure that mess out.

On May 10th (Sat) Craig and I got into a huge fight. This is on tape and I will put it up on Patreon. The boys were with Craig, and Rocco had been calling me all day asking me to come and get him. When I called Craig and told him Rocco wanted me to come and get him, he exploded! He said he had been making plans with the boys all day to surprise me the next morning (for Mother's day) and that Rocco didn’t want to be part of the plans. It pains me to think of what these boys were going through and this is why it’s so hard to listen to the audio tapes. Craig was using the boys as a way to get to me and they instinctively knew it. Craig yelled at me a lot on that call….I hope the kids didn’t hear him. They did all come over the next day and make me a big breakfast for Mother's Day and Craig left by 11:15am.

On Monday Craig got very mad at Rocco again because he didn’t want to spend the night at Craig’s house. Craig yelled at him and made him return his game cube and all the games to Craig’s house. Rocco was very hurt and confused. While we were eating dinner he wrote me a note and it said “Mom, I love you and daddy is very rude”. He wasn’t even 10 years old yet. It broke my heart. And still does.

On Tuesday when I took the boys to school, Rocco begged me to please pick him up as soon as possible because he doesn’t want Craig to pick him up. I promised him I would leave work early so that I could be there as soon as he came out. And I did.

I can’t remember exactly, but I think Craig would pick the boys up from school everyday if I was working. He would keep them until I got off work and then I would go pick them up.

On Friday Craig “fired” me as the agent on the sale of our South Jordan house. We were trying to do a short sell. He didn’t want Bank One knowing how much money he had in his accounts because he would be disqualified. (He always acted like he was broke and never paid me one dollar in child support). I HAPPILY took down my sign in the yard, took the listing off the MLS, and wrote him an official resignation letter. Done,

The following Thursday I went to pick the boys up from school when Craig informed me that he had already picked them up and was keeping them overnight. He never kept to a schedule. I never knew which days he was taking them and he refused to let me know. He didn’t want me to be able to “make plans”.

I didn’t write in my journal for about 10 days, but there are emails and audio tapes that will fill in the gaps. For now, you are getting my notes and thoughts.

Keep in mind that Craig committed the crime on July 8th, 2003. It was very premeditated and he and Tamara were spending A LOT of time together (obviously they had a lot of planning to do).

My journal notes on Monday June 06, 2003 said that Craig had had the boys for the weekend and returned them to me at 9:15am, at work. Richie had no shoes and Rocco hadn’t brushed his hair or changed his clothes the entire weekend. Obviously Craig was not paying any attention to them whatsoever. I was horrified. The boys were being very neglected and were fending for themselves. My attorney told me that I would have to take Craig to court and prove neglect, so it was on my mind a lot, but I knew I didn’t have the money to start another case and this is where the system is very messed up! When a mother knows that her children are being abused or neglected while visiting the other parent, she should have a way to get help. I remember lying awake in bed all night, so worried about my boys. I kept my phone charged and next to me ALL the time in case they called.

You will read in the the next post how Craig took Rocco’s phone away from him so he couldn’t call me.

That’s it for tonight, but you will get another post on Sunday!! This is all hard to think about again, to write about….and to know that my boys will possibly read this someday. They all know I am writing my story, they have all given me encouragement to write it…..but they don’t remember these days. I have brought it up a few more times to them, that there is stuff that will be hard for them to read. The few professional people I have spoken to say that my boys will handle it all better than I think. But will they? If you just found out that when you were a child, your father neglected you while he was planning to kill his girlfriend's ex husband, and your mother, and then take you out of the country to live off the insurance payout….would that not affect you? My sons are incredible men. All of them! They are all unique in their own ways, they are secure, successful, and take care of themselves. This is very difficult for me to write about because I don’t want to hurt them. I NEVER said a bad word about Craig to them. Anytime we talked about Craig I would share good memories with them, show them fun photographs and share in their good memories. They certainly have lots of good memories. He was an awesome dad for almost 10 years. The last few months got really bad, but they don’t seem to remember them. Except for Wil. Wil was 16 years old and has not forgotten anything. Doug didn’t know a whole lot of what was going on, but Doug really loved Craig. They had a bond that was very strong and of course since Wil and Doug were not Craigs children, they weren’t involved in the back and forth visitation issues. There is a lot more to talk about, so stay tuned and don’t forget to like and share my story to help me grow followers.

I appreciate you following me and I want you to know how much you are helping me! I know I have to get this all off of my chest, but without all of your support I couldn’t do it. So THANK YOU!!!