#3 Craig is going on a mission

#3

CRAIG IS GOING ON A MISSION !

A year after we moved to the States, I met Mark (my first husband) and within 2 weeks he proposed to me. The rush was, I had booked my return ticket back to South Africa, because as far as I was concerned, I had come, I had seen, and I didn’t like America. Although my entire year was spent in Provo and Orem, I was convinced I had seen America and wasn’t that impressed, so wanted to go back home.

My Mom and Dad had met Mark at the Video store he owned, and immediately decided I needed to meet him. To cut a long story short, we were married in the Salt Lake Temple 6 weeks later.

When I was 8 months pregnant with my first son, Wil, my brother was called to serve a mission for the LDS Church. So we all went along to the Missionary Training Center in Provo to see him off. In those days they would allow the family to all come and spend the day seeing off their missionary. While we were sitting in the chapel listening to talks, I recognized someone I hadn’t seen in years. It was Craig!

At first I couldn't believe it. Craig never went to church, and the last I heard he was training to be a sniper in the South African military. Was this really Craig?? Yes, indeed it was. He had been called to serve a mission in Spokane, Washington. I honestly couldn’t believe it. Miracles do happen I guess!

Both my brother and Craig returned home in 1989 after serving their two years in the mission field. So now they were friends and became part of our group of friends at home.

While I was in hospital giving birth to Doug (my second son) in November of 1989, I heard that Craig was getting married to a girl he had met in the MTC and had stayed in touch with through letters etc. I was happy for them, and by now Laura was also a part of our group of friends.

DIVORCED AND STARTING OVER

In 1991 I moved out of Mark's house and started over on my own. Nothing terrible happened between us, but I believe I was too young to make the decision of getting married in the first place, and sealed in the Temple, and I think I was also just living on autopilot and doing what I thought was expected of me. Of course I loved Mark, and our babies, but I was still lost. I had felt lost from the moment we arrived in America and it took me years to figure out who I was and what I wanted.

If you look back at my life, I had never had to support myself or lived by myself. This was definitely scary for me. I had 2 little boys who I had to make sure lived as normal a life as I could possibly give them. I was looking for a way to get more education, when Laura (names are changed) told me that Craig had signed up to attend the Utah College of Massage Therapy. She convinced me to do the same. They helped me figure out a bursary and school loan, and next thing I knew I was going to start Massage School in January of 1992.

Craig's sister, and my sister Kathy, were also looking for places to live, so the 3 of us found a government subsidized place on 2100 S and Redwood Rd. It was a sketchy area but we could get 4 bedrooms for an affordable rent. So we moved in and became roommates.

At this time Craig started coming over to see his sister, and he talked about going through a rough time with his wife, Laura. Even though Craig had just served his mission, he was starting to pull away from the Church, and Laura of course remained strong. Apparently this brought a lot of tension between them and Craig would come and tell us about his meetings with the Bishop and that he had no interest in going to Church. This finally became a breaking point for them and they split up. (I must add here that Laura and I are friends and I don’t want to try for even one minute to take her story away from her. She definitely had a very real struggle within her marriage and experience with Craig and it’s not my place to discuss this here. You will later on hear about how Laura actually was the one who woke me up to some of the things that were happening behind my back and I will forever be grateful for the phone call she made to me in about 2001).

MASSAGE COLLEGE

Craig and I attended UCMT on a full time basis. 8 hours a day for 6 months. My divorce to Mark was finalized in February 1992 and Craig and Laura split up during this time too, but I don’t know any exact dates. So during college, every day attending clinic together, studying together, being in that close environment, Craig and I became very close once again. We reconnected and years apart collapsed time frames. We made some good friends in school and even became good friends with some of the instructors. Part of the course was to practice massage on other people and give away free massages (Haha...bet you wish you were my friend back then). I think we had to give 100 hours of free massages. This is where Craig met Liz. To this day I don’t know who introduced them to each other, but Liz becomes a very big part of my story through the rest of my marriage, which is why I am bringing her up. I am not just blabbing away here, but rather giving you the back bone to what finally became a very crazy ending to our marriage. Unlike a movie, you can go back and re- read some of this stuff when you forget who is who later on.

Our graduation was in June of 1992. Craig and I continued to work together in our massage business and by 1993 we had bought a house in West Valley City. My third son, Rocco, was born in July of 1993 and I was so happy. Life was perfect. We had a large back yard with chickens, a goat, a lamb at one point, and even a goose. Craig was an animal lover for sure. He raised hand-fed cockatiels and we had cages everywhere. He would get up through the night to feed the baby birds and give a bottle to the lamb. The boys loved the backyard and spent hours outside playing with Craig. He built igloos in the snow in the winter time for them, forts they called them, and in the summertime we had a big above ground swimming pool where he taught them how to swim and spent hours out there playing with them. Very happy days indeed.

Craig also taught them all how to be very respectful to me, ( their Mom) and I loved to watch him correct the way they spoke to me and encouraged them to be so lovable and kind to me. To this day I am so proud of my sons and the respect they give me and every one of them will attest that Craig, and then his parents (who arrived later) had everything to do with the manners and respect they learned at such an early age.

The next phase

My brother opened a Utah location for a large financial services company in 1992, and I became licensed with them in 1993. I spent weeks studying for all my licenses and became appointed by the State of Utah in 1993. I was recruiting and building a big team of licensed agents. We would go visit families at night and help them with their financial plan. Show them how to get out of debt, and invest for their retirement, while protecting their plan with insurance until it was all in place. I knew this would create financial freedom for my family in the future,  and I was very proud of the work we did.

The hardest part was working every night. I was training agents in the field and it was so hard to leave my family every night. But it was going to be worth it!! It would pay off, and that would make it all worth it. I came home late at night to little notes on my front door from the older boys (4 and 6 yrs old), saying “Mom, Thank you for working so hard for our family.” and “I love you Mom, we miss you. I am proud of you” and many, many more. Then I would go inside the house to find Craig fast asleep in his recliner with a little boy in each arm. My heart was broken, and melting at the same time. My kids supported me, and encouraged me to do this! They were supportive even though they had no idea of what I was doing, they had the lingo down, and they supported me. That is what gave me the courage to get showered and dressed up the next day to leave again at 5pm. I missed my babies, I missed family dinners, I missed seeing them swim for the first time, I missed putting them to bed, and all the cute stories they would tell me about. But I knew I was building our future, I knew I was doing the right thing for my family. I knew it would be worth the sacrifice.

#4 is coming up on Sunday. I apologize upfront for some of the content, but it is all along my path and needs to be revealed. So until then….Keep love in your heart!

Thanks for following my path :)