I wish I had kept journals of the times I went to see Craig. I have a lot of memories, but no dates to put with them. Currently I am also typing out the letters Craig wrote to me over the years, and so those help to trigger some memories.
As I mentioned in the last post, it was very difficult for me to know what to do about taking the boys to see Craig. Everyone had a different opinion. He was held in the Logan jail until he was formerly charged and sentenced in November. I drove up there a couple times to see him, but I didn’t take the kids. He was facing aggravated murder in the first degree, as it was premeditated, and they set up a tentative trial start date for February the next year (2004). Utah is a death penalty state, so if he had been found guilty of these charges he would have received the death penalty. There obviously was a lot of evidence against him, and finally he decided to take a plea deal and confess to the charges, rather than risk going to trial. They offered to lower his sentence to a Life without the possibility of parole, in exchange for his plea.
I received the call from the detective, telling me that Craig had plead guilty in court. I was upset they hadn’t even told me he was scheduled in court, but they said it was last minute and they barely made it in time. They still should have called me.
Apparently this confession took over 2 hours. Craig tells me they wrote his confession out for him and he had to sign it. Then the judge went over it, line by line, stopping after each line and asking Craig if he was in his clear and right mind, was he confessing under his own free will, had anyone coerced him to confess, was he under the influence of any medications? Every single question Craig answered that he knew exactly what he was doing, he knew the consequences of pleading guilty to these charges, he was in his right mind etc etc.
After the judge read the confession and made 100 % sure that Craig wanted to confess to the crime he was being charged of, they dropped some of the burglary charges and a few other smaller charges they had initially piled on him, and he was sentenced to Life in prison, without the possibility of parole. Once the sentencing was done, he was transferred to the Utah State prison to begin his sentence.
The prison had an orientation meeting for the families of new inmates of which I was informed about and decided to attend. In this meeting we were told what kind of programs they offer to the inmates in the prison, what kind of things we were allowed to send to the inmate, how we could send them money for commissary items, how to get on the visitors list etc. it was informative and I was glad I went. At the end of the meeting they opened it up for questions. I had a question, unfortunately I don’t remember my question, but the Head Warden answered it for me.
Once the meeting was over, the head warden walked directly over to me and asked if I was Craig Nicholls wife. I was very surprised he knew that, but he said my accent gave me away. He went on to tell me he had been the head warden of that prison for over 20 years and he had never met a more manipulative individual than Craig. This could have surprised me, thinking of how many inmates this warden had met, but then I realized that he was obviously a very good judge of character, especially when it came to manipulation techniques, and that was one of Craig's biggest traits.
Since Craig and I had never agreed on the terms of our divorce, it was still not finalized. In the end this actually worked out to my benefit because they can’t make a spouse testify against the other. Even though his case didn’t go to a trial, I was relieved I wouldn’t have to testify against him. I was still scared of him, and obviously didn’t need to make more trouble for myself.
So I went back to my attorney with a copy of Craig's charges and sentencing and he was able to get our divorce bifurcated.This meant that the judge simply signed the divorce as is, and I was able to go back to my maiden name and move on as a divorced woman.
A few weeks later, I was as work and a constable came in and served me with papers to appear in court. It was a summons for Contempt of Court. When I read it I nearly FELL OUT OF MY CHAIR! Craig was suing me for not complying with the orders of our divorce, which gave him visitation of the children!! Since the original divorce obviously gave Craig rights and visitation of his children, and the judge had signed it, I was now in contempt of court. Seriously?? Did they expect me to drop the boys off on Friday afternoon with their backpacks and come back on Sunday for them? This seemed absolutely unrealistic and ridiculous! What judge in his right mind would sign that summons and allow Craig to take me to court?
Since the divorce was filed in Farmington, Utah, that is the court that I had to go to. I didn’t know what to expect. I thought I was going to just face the judge alone and Craig would receive copies of the paperwork afterwards. Boy I was in for a big surprise. When they called our names, I was ushered to the desk in front of the podium and told to sit down. Then a side door opened and Craig was brought in! He was handcuffed and shackled. My heart stopped. I think I turned white. I felt like I was going to pass out.
So the State of Utah (or more accurately the taxpayers) paid for the transportation of a maximum security inmate to go from Bluffdale all the way up to Farmington over a stupid custody battle that couldn’t go anywhere! I started to visibly shake. In the news just a week or two before this, an inmate from that same prison was taken to hospital for treatment, and he was able to grab the guard's gun and he shot and killed the guard. This was all I could think of! Craig was sitting 10 feet away from me, with an armed guard on either side of him. They had uncuffed him so that Craig could go through his papers and notes he had brought with him. My thought was, he has NOTHING to lose, what is to stop him from grabbing a gun and doing the same thing? He had told me so many times that he would make sure I never get to raise the boys, and that he was going to make sure his mother would raise them. So I knew he wanted me out of the picture. This is when I realized, again, that the legal system is absolutely jacked up. This individual had been listed as the most manipulative inmate in 20 years of the Utah State Prisons history, and had been charged with aggravated murder. How on earth did he manage to pull this off?
The Judge allowed Craig to state his case first since he had filed and was suing me. Sitting there in prison clothes, shackled and surrounded with armed guards, Craig told the judge that the divorce agreement gives him legal rights to his children and that I had not allowed him to see the children since he had been arrested.
Then I was given a chance to give my reasons for not sticking to the terms of the divorce. I was shaking so hard I could barely speak. I told the judge that during the last year Craig had violated numerous protective orders (through that same court) and had become very angry and dangerous towards me and had intended to kill me along with the man he did actually kill. I said I was terrified of Craig and of his manipulative nature and I didn’t think it would be healthy to take a 7 year old and a 10 year old to visit their dad in Maximum Security prison. I couldn’t believe I was actually having this conversation with the Judge.
After I was done the Judge said that in the State of Utah the courts prefer the parents to first try to figure out the best visitation plan for the children of a divorce. If we can’t come to an agreement we must submit, in writing, to the court, what we feel is best and the courts would make a determination. He did not even acknowledge the fact that Craig was in prison for the rest of his life. He spoke as if we were just a couple arguing over visitation of the children. And that was it. Bam! I jumped as his gavel hit down.
I couldn’t even look at Craig. I was told to wait until they had taken him out of the courtroom before I could leave. I knew that Craig would be writing out his notes on how the visitation should go, as soon as he possibly could. In my mind this was going to just continue my impossible battle with the man I thought I was finally freed from.
When I left the courtroom I was informed that the whole thing was recorded and that I could get a copy of the tape. It took them about a week or two to send me the VHS tape, and another few weeks for me to get the courage to watch it. I did finally watch it and could see how badly I was shaking through the proceeding. I still have the VHS tape. I will have it uploaded so that I can post it.
I didn’t have the money to hire an attorney to start another legal fight. I wrote out my thoughts and feelings about this hearing and summons and sent it in to the court. I never heard back from them. Hopefully there isn’t a warrant out for my arrest…..I would NOT be surprised anymore.
One day I was in the car with the boys and we drove past the prison. We lived in Draper and so we drove past it all the time. One of the older boys asked if that was where Dad is. I said yes. Rich (age 7) asked how long do people go to jail for? I told him it depends on what they did. He was trying to figure out how old he would be when he would see his dad again. This broke my heart. So I told them if they wanted to go see him, I would send the paperwork in and take them to see him. They said they did want to see him.
In those days to get on a visitor list I had to write to Craig and ask him permission to be a visitor. He would then send us a form that he had signed and filled out with his information. I filled out each form (one for each of the kids and one for me). It’s a fairly long process, including submitting copies of birth certificates, DL and SS cards, and since we were now divorced I had to show proof of the divorce. Craig was in maximum security and was only allowed one female visitor on his list, at a time, and since we were no longer married I was considered the female visitor, not family. I mailed everything into the prison and waited for Craig's letter informing us we had been approved.
That’s enough for today! Whew. So much more coming!
Have a great week and keep listening to your gut!!
Love and Grit,
Eve
