10/08/2017
Visitation #3
I’ve been trying to figure out dates of events, but there is no way to get it perfect. What counts is the information.
I started taking the 2 younger boys to see Craig. The older boys were not interested. I think they understood the severity of what Craig had done, and since he was their step dad, they didn’t feel any obligation to go, although Doug always loved Craig, I believe to this day he still loves him.
Going to visit someone in maximum security prison is not a fun event. After all the paperwork is approved, you still need to call the day you plan on going to make sure they are not in lock down for whatever reason. So I would call in the morning to make sure visitors were being accepted.
We lived in Draper, so the drive was short (less than 10 miles). After we parked, I followed the signs for Visiting. The fences were 20 feet high, with crazy electric wiring across the top. We reached a big gate, and just stood there.No one in site. After a few minutes of waiting, the guards in the “sniper tower” buzzed us in. Then the big gate slid back closed and locked us in. Now we were in what looked and felt like a large dog run. Caged in. We waited there for a while and eventually a cop car drove by, and the cop got out and took our ID’s through a little hole in the fence. Maybe he thought WE were the prisoners because it certainly felt like it! He called the ID's in while we waited. Once we were approved, we heard another loud BUZZ and the second gate opened up for us. We then walked along a path and into a little building. By this point I was already regretting being there.
The waiting room was small, painted white many years ago, and now grubby and dirty from years of visitors coming through, and no new paint. There were lockers you could put your cell phone and car keys in, but if you didn't bring your own lock, you couldn’t lock it. The first time I went to visit at the prison, I had to take my bra off (the underwire set off the metal detectors) and leave it in a locker. I felt uncomfortable leaving my car key and bra in the locker, but had no choice.
After waiting another 20 to 30 minutes, they called us. We stood up and were walked through the metal detector one at a time. There was probably 10 people in our group, so you have to wait for each person to be cleared. Then they led us through another door, which went outside,and we walked to the next building. The worst part of this walk is that a lot of the inmates have skinny windows looking into this area. So you get to hear lots of thumping on the windows as you walk passed them, which raised the hair on my back. Then we went through the door into the Maximum security visitation building. At this point we are all on our own. We walked down a hallway, looking into little windows, looking for the person you are coming to visit. Once we saw Craig, we opened the door and went in.
The room was tiny. There were 2 chairs on our side. Craig was handcuffed and shackled on his side of the bullet proof window. I told the 2 kids to share one chair and I took the other, but I turned it sideways as I couldn’t face him. I was there for the boys, and no other reason.
The visit was 2 hours. Craig asked the boys a lot about school and their friends. He cried a lot, but tried not to let the boys see. After a few visits I figured out a way to bring a crossword puzzle in my back pocket, along with a pencil. That way I could sit and work on the crossword puzzle and not face Craig. My face was always red and hot and I felt like I was going to blow a gasket being there.
After a few visits, Craig started asking the boys to look at me. He said to them “Boys, look at your Mom. Isn’t she beautiful? Will you both give her a hug and a kiss for me?” So they did. Then he said “Boys, I love your Mom very much, please ask her to let me out now. Please tell her I am sorry and I want to come home now.” Upon hearing this I nearly exploded! I glared at him and asked what he was talking about. I told the boys that Mommy had nothing to do with Daddy being in prison, and that it was time to go. We left.
Then of course I got letters from Craig. He continued to try to manipulate and control me for years.
Every Saturday I asked the kids if they wanted to go see Craig. Sometimes they did, other times they were playing games or had friends over and didn’t want to spend half the day at the prison. After months of asking them every Saturday, they were saying no, more and more. Eventually I told them that I would quit asking them, but if they wanted to go see him they just had to let me know and I would arrange it.
Craig's Mom flew out from South Africa to come and see him. It was right before Christmas. Craig had the audacity to tell his Mom he had won his appeal and was getting out in a matter of weeks. I knew this wasn’t true, and I also felt it was very cruel. On the way home I told her that all of his appeals had been thrown out, and none of them were being considered. I can’t imagine the pain she was going through, and I hated the fact that I was now adding to her pain. But I needed her to know the truth.
She flew home, with hope, but she is a smart lady and I think she knew he wasn’t getting out.
That’s it for tonight. Next week I will tell you about the life insurance policy Craig took out on me from prison!! Yes...he really did.
Have a great week, and remember to always listen to your gut!!
Lots of love,
Eve
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