This continues from the end if #23
Go back to ending of #23 where there is a pause.
When we were living in South Jordan, Craig convinced his parents to uproot their lives and come live with us in Utah. He spoke to them for hours (he had a way to call them from payphones that would not cost anything)...another illegal thing he saw no problem with doing. Anyway, he convinced them to put their belongings into a container, ship it over here and move to America to live with us. That way we could take care of them for the rest of their lives. I didn’t know his folks well, but I had spoken to them often on the phone and I know they were worried about their future in SA, so I had no problem with them coming to live with us. I had no idea how much money they had, and that was never even discussed. It was none of my business. Craig told me his Mom would watch the boys for me while I went to work and she would probably cook for us too. I have told you how grateful I am for their help, they really were a godsend. They each had to have their own bedroom, so I doubled up my boys until we moved out to the bigger house in Kaysville.
Over the years I discovered that Craig was “borrowing” from his folks. I was working hard and making good enough money but Craig always wanted more and was always devising a way to get more. I think he used a lot of their money for his day trading, stock trading, because our quality of life didn’t jump up. I think when times got tight, he would fill the gap with a loan from them, but I didn’t know about it for years. When he finally brought it to my attention I was shocked, I couldn’t believe how many checks he had taken from them. He had written every one down and said we would pay it back to them, but “at least they knew they would be safe with us and we would take care of them for the rest of their lives”.
At this same time he was borrowing chunks of money from Bruce. Bruce is the one who ended up funding my coffee shop. He had been a client of Craigs since we graduated from massage school and Craig was very good at getting money out of him. My son had a seizure one day, we had to have him rushed to hospital and the bill for that was over $2K. Craig got a check from Bruce for the entire amount. So I don’t know why our lives were costing so much, or where all the money was going, but we certainly were going through it quickly.
After Craig and I separated, his parents went back to SA. But now they had nothing. We even had their furniture. Craig continued to live in the house as I told you, and wouldn’t let me even get my things out. Then he was arrested and my whole world crashed. I had days to rescue what I could out of the house, and a lot of it was lost. I did rescue what I knew was very important to his family, like pictures, chests of treasures, antique furniture….I rescued as much as I possibly could, along with my things. I have not been able to ship their furniture back. An aunt in California, (actually her husband) sent UPS to my house to pick up some paintings, but I still have some of their furniture. We will never get rid of it, our sons are now using it in their homes, and we will look after it forever. If the time comes when I can afford to ship the furniture back to Craig's mom, I will do that. His Dad has since passed.
Back to the story. When Craig accused me of stealing his mother's money and would I ever pay her back, I told him I would. I still felt it was our responsibility to give back what we took from them, even though I don’t know what he did with all their money. I don’t even know how much it was, but in my heart, they deserved to have their retirement back.
Back to the story...
Craig dropped the F word over and over. He was yelling at me again, and crying, and telling me I took all of his mother's f*** money. It sounded like he was having a breakdown and realizing everything he had done. And everything that was lost.
Then he was asking me again why I was trying to destroy him. I told him I had put up boundaries when I needed them, and he chose to overstep them. Why?
His response “Because HE LOVES HER and he doesn't know what is going on” (put himself in third person).
Me: “You were told to leave me alone, to stop messing with my head all the time. I needed you to stop fighting with me”
Craig: “You are the one who decided the marriage was over. Why didn’t you try?”
Me: “ Yes, this time I am done. I have put up with all your affairs and all the high demands for years. Eventually it took a toll on me.”
Craig: “You reported me for car theft, for assault and then put a protective order on me!”
Me: “And you still wouldn’t leave me alone”
Craig: “Man, I hope you are happy with yourself” Then he decided to call my sister a very derogatory name so I told him I would not continue this conversation anymore and I hung up. Again.
He called me back. I answered and told him to leave my family out of this! I said don’t you dare bring my family into this. I told him for 2 years I begged him for attention, for love and begged to be his wife and for him to give up the girlfriends. I said “I begged you to love me and no one else!”
He tried to fight back, and I told him I don’t want to fight anymore. I said the kids were in the house and I don’t want them to hear this. Then he asked if the kids had heard the whole conversation, I told him no, they just got home and I need to hang up. He said “Don’t hang up on me!” I told him I can’t fight anymore, and I have nothing left to say. I begged “Don’t call me back!”
His last words on this recording were “Why are you trying to murder me?”
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I realize I have jumped around alot with these notes. Trying to link up my journal to audio recordings and then emails too has been a juggle. So I apologize for the back and forth, but it’s only Jan and Feb of 2003 I got ahead of myself. The audio above was recorded in December of 2002.
On Jan 10th I sent Craig an email that said “Still waiting for a response from you on the house. I’m going to list it for sale. Do you want me to get someone else to fix it up or do you want to do it?”
He responded with 3 typed pages, of which I will spare you from. He spent a lot of time and energy degrading my family, calling me names, being angry at me and then despairing. This is how he ended the email, and responded to my question.
Email response from Craig on 01.10.02
“I recognize and accept that what I did really hurt you and insulted you and trivialized our relationship, at that time, and especially since Denver there had been a strong selfish, self gratification impulse, I did not feel I was getting enough emotionally and you were telling me that you couldn’t give me anymore. You needed to indulge yourself while I was away and I sat in a hole. I wanted to indulge myself when I got out. I was wrong. The value system was wrong. The support system was wrong. There has to be a better way to live, where both parties are striving for a higher goal. Mediocrity (and below) is a result of no effort. I think you are in store for a whole lot of pain and maybe that will teach you the humility you need to start over.
I would love to love you, I would love to forgive you (real effort on both sides is required for that, and you won’t do that.)
I would love to work with you.
“Memories” they can hurt.
I’m sure that I will find someone like the Eve I used to know. Start another life? What a joke! You are selfish and sick and I hope you find a cure.
As for the West Valley house I’m going to move into it for the next few months before I go.
Isn’t it interesting this new level of hostility that you have since my sentencing, no jail time an issue? You have a different way to punish me now. Your actions and words. You deny everything and extol your virtues but I think the house of cards will fall.
End of his email.
That is where I will leave off today. There are about 17 long emails he sent to me after this one, the last one being sent on June 29th. You can tell things are heating up in his life and within 3 weeks of his last email he committed the crime that put him away forever. After that comes a bunch of news articles about the crime he and Tamara committed.
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