Sunday July 13th, 2003
I tried to call the boys at 9 pm to say Good Night (and check they were still in town). I got no reply. I continued to call for 3 hours! By now I was panicking. Eventually at midnight Craig picked up the phone. They had been at Tamara's house all evening and Craig said he didn’t take his cell phone. I don’t know why I don’t completely believe that, but at least he finally picked up. I spoke to the boys and they were fine, they liked Tamara’s kids so had fun playing with them.
Monday July 14, 2003
Craig called me at 8 am to find out if I was going to call my attorney to withdraw the discovery. Again. He was SO bent out of shape over that. I didn’t understand back then, but now I know he was hiding a lot of money, had trades going back and forth and obviously didn’t want to deal with revealing all of that. It is a formality of divorce, so that the court can determine assets and liabilities. Craig kept pushing me to call my attorney and get them withdrawn. I told him I don’t think that is even in my power but I will call him and see what he says. Craig yelled at me and said if I would drop the divorce then none of this would be happening. I told him I was trying to get ready for work and didn’t have time to argue. Once we hung up, he called me several times over the next hour but I didn’t pick up as I really was getting ready for work.
I called my attorney from the car and he said Craig is not in contempt of court and will not be arrested because we have a divorce hearing in August.
So I called Craig and told him, but he was still mad at me for pursuing the divorce. I told him if we could just agree on how to split the assets etc, he wouldn’t have to do the discovery. They required it of him because he was fighting everything in the divorce. And remember he told me he was going to kick it around the courts until the cows come home? That is exactly what he was doing! He said I was using the discovery as a weapon to control him.
So that night I sent him a long email. I asked him to please stop fighting with me, and trying to control me. I asked him to please let me go. I was very nice to him and just plead with him to stop being angry with me all the time.
Tuesday July 15, 2003
I found out today that our West Valley house had gone into foreclosure. Craig had agreed to pay on the first mortgage ($350/mo) and I was paying on the second one we had on it ($700/mo). When you listen to the tapes (one day when I can get them on here) you will hear me telling Craig that I could not afford the $700 a month payments on that house and I really wanted to just sell it. He fought me tooth and nail on that. He said he was going to live in it. Then he said I had to hire someone to fix it. Then he said he wanted me to quit claim the deed over to him. Everyday he had a new agenda with that house and in the meantime I was going broke paying on that second mortgage to keep our credit up so that we could get the equity out of it. In the divorce agreement I had said we would split the equity between us after the expenses of fixing it up. Then he said he wanted to fix it up and be paid for it. I agreed to that at one point, but he never showed up to work on the house. He was determined to drag everything out as long as possible.
So now it foreclosed and we lost $60K.
I called him up and asked if he had been paying on the mortgage. He said “nope, not me”. I couldn’t believe it. I said I had been breaking my back to get the $700 paid every month and meanwhile he stopped paying on the first mortgage and let it foreclose. He didn’t care at all. He said it wasn’t his problem.
Then he sent me a reply to my email. He said part of him wants to let me go, but the other part of him wants to fight for our marriage.
That evening Rocco called me sounding very sad, and asked if I could come and get him. I told him he would have to ask Daddy because it’s his time to have them. Of course Craig said no.
Later in the night Craig and I tried to discuss our divorce and of course it got very ugly again. I do have this fight on tape too. After 2 hours of fighting, I told him I don’t want to fight anymore. Can we please call a truce. It had been a long day. He said I must call my attorney in the morning and have those papers withdrawn. I told him he has 6 weeks before we go to court, why is he panicking about it now. Obviously he screwed me over on the West Valley house, why would I want those papers withdrawn? Once again he got mad at me and said I was using them as a weapon. I reminded him that neither of us trusts the other. I asked him if we could try for a few weeks to be civil to each other. For 3 weeks. Let’s be civil. If we can’t do it for 3 weeks, then I am going through with the divorce. He agreed. He said he can do that. Then he managed to insult me twice within 5 minutes. I reminded him that we are supposed to be trying to be nice to each other.
Then I asked to speak to Rocco. Craig said he was asleep and didn’t eat a single thing the entire day, not even his favorite dinner, steak. This really concerned me. Rocco was depressed. I suggested maybe he was homesick and missing me. Craig got all mad and nasty again. He said Rocco misses us being a family, he doesn't miss me.
So I asked to speak to Richard. Richie was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said he misses me. I told him I would see him tomorrow. Craig gave them permission to come home for one night.
After I hung up with Richie, Craig called me back and asked what Richie had said. I told him. He said no, Richie doesn’t miss me, he was just upset because he wanted to go pick up his pigeons tonight and Craig told him it was too late. Craig told me that Richie doesn’t want to come home tomorrow. I said that was fine, we could check with them in the morning and see what they would like to do.
I hated to see my boys going through this. It was so hard for them. I wish Craig had let them be where they wanted to be. He professed to me that the kids deserve their family back and to be happy, but he refuses to give them happiness when they ask to come home. He controlled all of us. Those poor kids. There was nothing I could do. My attorney said when it’s Craig legal time then it’s up to him if he wants to let them be with me or not. It seems so wrong. They deserve to be happy and to be where they feel safe and loved. Craig’s house is dark, he never opens the blinds anymore. His animal cages downstairs smell terrible because he never cleans them out anymore. Craig is obviously depressed and spends a lot of time sleeping while the kids have to entertain themselves and make their own meals.
Craig said if they do come home tomorrow, that they HAVE to go back on Thursday to him. My heart is breaking for them. I asked him, “What if they want to stay with me a little longer?” He said absolutely not.
Why?? Why is he so selfish?? Why is it only about what he needs and the rest of us just have to deal with it?
That’s it for today. I will update again next Sunday. Until then, be safe and please listen to your gut!
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