I’ve been going through all my planners, notes and old memories and trying to get everything in a timeline so that I don’t keep bouncing back and forth.
Blog # 13 I talked about Craig chasing me behind our coffee shop and throwing me against the wall, that happened May 15th 2002.
It’s important to tell you about the INS and how they were “following up” with Craig after they had released him from CO. I found the paper they gave him when they released him. I rewrote the exact release letter and have put it on my Patreon website. He was instructed to report to Officer Gaye at the beginning of every month. Officer Chase asked him to bring his passport in, but he never did. Here are the notes that the INS wrote on his form at each visit. The INS notes are italicized.
07/02/2001
Craig reported as directed. He was instructed to bring in his Picture ID , Passport and Birth certificate to the next visit on Sept 4, 2001
09/04/2001
Craig reported as directed, next time must bring his picture ID, passport and birth certificate on Nov 1st, 2001
11/01/2001
Telephone interview. Next date to report is May 1, 2002. Officer Chase
05/01/2002
Craig appeared as directed to the INS. Next report is July 1, 2002 Signed by Officer Gaye
Then the assault happened on 05/15/2002 behind the coffee shop.
*** Craig had been specifically instructed by the INS to stay out of trouble. They had told him that ANY violation would have him arrested and deported. The Victims Advocate that I was working with had contacted the INS and informed them that Craig had received an assault charge and that his pretrial was set for July 16, 2002.
The INS contacted me and told me that they would be at the hearing and Craig would be arrested.
07/01/2002 Craig appeared as directed to the INS. Next report is October 2002
07/16/2002 PRETRIAL
At this hearing Craig plead to a Plea and Abeyance to Domestic assault and was sentenced to 18 months probation. Fine $365. No other violations to be committed. That was it.
Then one day I was working in the coffee shop and Craig arrived really mad at me about something. I can’t even remember what it was. He was following me around the store yelling in my ear, so I got my keys and got into my car and locked the doors. As I was reversing out of my spot Craig punched the car window and broke it. I drove straight to the police station again and they went to the coffee shop and “arrested and released” Craig on the spot. What the heck that is about, I will never know. He received an arrest citation to appear in court. But now his MOTHER was mad at me. I will never forget how she slammed her fist on the counter and said “Eve, what are you thinking? Don’t you know you are going to get him deported?” I remember standing there, looking at her with tears pouring down my face, wondering if I should tell her what a mad man her son was, or if I should just let her find out for herself. So I walked away. I didn’t want to tell his mother how terribly he had been behaving, and how he had destroyed our marriage. Maybe I was scared of his retaliation. I don’t remember. But I didn’t say anything to her.
So by now Craig was really getting angry with me. He knew the INS were on to him, although they didn’t show up at his pretrial, but he knew he was walking on thin ice and it was ALL MY FAULT!
During this time I moved into one of our guest bedrooms. I wanted to move out, but had nowhere to go. One night Craig came into my room and woke me up, shoved a tape recorder in my face and he promised to destroy my father and my brother if I tried to take his children away from him. I took him very seriously. I don’t know if the tape recorder made me think the promise was real, but I totally believed he would do that if I tried to have him deported.
Also at this time, my cousin had flown out from South Africa and was visiting with us. She called me the other day after reading my blog, and was horrified because she realized that all of this was going on while she was here, and she had no idea. I told NO ONE. I was terrified that Craig would go through with his threats if I started telling my family.
My cousin told me, on the call the other day, that she remembers one night we had gone out to dinner or something and I had asked them not to tell Craig we had gone out. He was extremely neurotic, insecure and possessive and if he had found out we had gone out he would assume I had told them everything. So everyone agreed that they wouldn’t tell Craig that we had gone out, although they didn’t understand exactly why I was hiding it. The next day, Craig cornered my cousin in our living room and interrogated her about the night before, and she said he was very demanding of all the facts. I did not know he did this to her until just a few days ago when she called me.
I have also been receiving a lot of phone calls and emails from people in South Africa who grew up with Craig, and each one of them has a similar horror story. If only I had known all that before I married him….
08/2002
We found another counselor. Her name was Shondell. She worked out of her home which was just a few minutes away from ours, so it was convenient, and she came highly recommended.
She was more experienced in this type of behaviour, but told me during a one on one session with her that we were the worst case she had ever seen. We had sessions with both of us together and then she would see us individually. When we were there together she kept her house phone right next to her. She told me she never knew with Craig when she might need to call for help.
08/29/2002 Craig was summonsed with a temporary Protective Order.
Ex Parte (Temporary) Protective Order Davis County Civil # 024701497
- Respondent (Craig) not allowed to contact, harass, communicate with me.
- He was ordered to stay out of our house (he moved out for this period)
- He was ordered to stay away from our coffee shop
- I was granted temporary custody of the children, giving him standard visitation only.
- He was not allowed to take the boys out of State.
- Hearing set for Sept 18th
I hope this post wasn’t too confusing. As you can imagine, it’s hard to remember exact dates etc so I am going through piles and pile of notes.
As you will find out in future posts, the INS dropped the ball MANY times and if they had followed through ONCE, then that innocent man would still be alive today, and a lot of pain and anguish would have been avoided.
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